Really Funny Clean Jokes - A cold day in hell

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil. The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20-pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity.

At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity. At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man,and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Georgia.

At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature for this man to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind. At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, the man was instead singing louder than ever,twirling the sledge hammer like a baton. When the devil asked him why, he was so happy, the man answered,

“Cold day in hell, the Falcons must be in the SuperBowl!”

Really Funny Clean Jokes - Mike Tyson One-Liners

Tyson’s psychologist told Mike to take a year off. He obviously misunderstood. Good thing he didn’t say two.
Evander after the fight: “Maybe I shouldn’t have told him to ‘Bite Me’.”
Tyson’s favorite football team: the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS.
For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA.
They are making […]

Really Funny Clean Jokes - A guy named Bob

A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium he’s closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field.
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty […]

Really Funny Clean Jokes - The baseball demands

Top Baseball Player Demands
From Late Show with David Letterman; Friday, August 12, 1994
In case anyone has od’ed on O.J. Simpson coverage or for those who might for some reason not know, the major league baseball player strike began today.]
No team flights on Continental Airlines.
Goodbye boring baseball hats, hello festive sombreros.
Make […]

Really Funny Clean Jokes - Short Cowboy jokes

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle.
Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who’s driving?
A: The police.
Q: Why can’t Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore?
A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.
The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas […]

Really Funny Clean Jokes - Jets Fan Dog

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, ‘No pets allowed.’ The man replied, ‘This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you’ll see.’ The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turns on the game. The guy says, ‘Watch. Whenever the Jets score a field goal, […]

Really Funny Clean Jokes - Real marine

A little boy walks into a public restroom where a marine is taking a piss. He
says to the marine: “Sir, are you a real marine?” Yeah,”, the guy replied, ”
Would you like to wear my hat?” “Yes, please!”, says the boy. So he puts on the
marine’s hat. A sailor walks in. The boy says, “Sir […]

Really Funny Clean Jokes - Clinton’s Pigs

President Clinton arrived in D.C. after a trip to his home state of Arkansas.
He stepped out of the plane carrying two pigs, one under each arm. When he
reached the bottom of the stairs the Marine guard sharply saluted him as usual.
Clinton spoke, “I’d like to salute you back son, but as you can see my […]

Really Funny Clean Jokes - Viagra computer virus

Heard about the new Viagra computer virus? It turns your floppy disk into a
hard drive!

Really Funny Clean Jokes - Jump out of the plane

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a
small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having
mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3
of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can […]

Really Funny Clean Jokes - Bridge

There were 3 men working on a bridge that was too built above the Grand
Canyon. They were an Englishman, an American and an Irishman. One day, they sat
down to lunch and see what they got. The Englishman opened his lunchbox and
said:” Vegemite sandwich again! If I get vegemite sandwich again tomorrow I’ll
throw myself off the […]